Kids make everything in the house lively. They love dreaming and making every family member happy with their innocent acts. A cute little smile from them can work magic and eliminate stress. The happiness of children is measured by how often they laugh. If children feel bored or sad, you should plan to bring back their smile.
Children love hearing fantasy stories. Tell them these jokes on birds, fish, or mammals. They will love sitting close to you and chuckle at every funny joke. Animal jokes for kids are entertaining and can increase their knowledge about different animals. Also, with lots of laughter comes good health and a glowing face.
180 Funny Animal Jokes For Kids
1. Why did the witch’s team lose the baseball match?
Because all of their bats flew away
2. Can a kangaroo leap higher than the Empire State Building?
Oh yes! The Empire State Building is a structural masterpiece, and it can’t jump at all.
3. Why don’t leopards play hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted
4. What do you use to count cows?
A cowculator
5. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop
6. How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck
7. Why dd the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom
8. What’s the interesting difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can auto-tune a guitar, but you can’t auto-tuna fish.
9. Two crazy bats hanging upside down on a branch.
Bat 1: “Do you recall your worst day of last year?”
Bat 2: “Yes, the day I had diarrhea.”
10. What kind of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
11. Teacher: “Name a bird that has wings but can’t fly.”
Student: “A dead bird, ma’am.”
12. Why do the French people eat snails?
They dislike fast food.
13. What does a kitty eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies
14. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks
15. Teacher: “I asked you to draw a cow and grass, but I only see a cow. Where is the grass?”
Student: “The cow ate the grass, sir.”
16. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish
17. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny
18. Why does a barn sound so noisy?
Because all the cows have horns
19. What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey
20. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator
21. What has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
22. What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
23. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
24. Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
So they can walk
25. Which animal should you never play cards with?
A cheetah
26. Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it was the chicken’s day off
27. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet
28. What did the spider do on the computer?
Create a website!
29. Why did the pig leave the costume party?
Because everyone thought he was a boar.
30. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus
31. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels
32. What do you call a deep-sea Transformer?
Octopus Prime!
33. What do you call a famous fish?
A starfish
34. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk
35. Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock
36. There were ten cats in a boat, and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, they were all copycats!
37. How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With a floodlight
38. What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
The police had to comb the area.
39. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
40. How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
Pleased to eat you
41. What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard — it’s the best match for a hot dog!
42. How do spiders communicate?
Through the World Wide Web.
43. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose
44. A man walks into a zoo, and the only animal there was a dog.
It was a shitzu
45. What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?
Shear madness
46. What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
Itenticle
47. Where did the cat go when it lost its tail?
To the retail store!
48. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it
49. Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
Because it uses a honey comb!
50. Why are fish so good at watching their weight?
Because they have lots of scales.
51. What’s a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarine!
52. Who makes clothes for dinosaurs?
A dino-sewer.
53. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops!
54. What pine has the longest needles?
A porcupine
55. Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because its feet stink!
56. Why don’t bears wear shoes?
What’s the use? They’d still have bear feet!
57. What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin sea
58. How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose
59. What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Glass flippers
60. What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A woolen jumper!
61. Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
62. What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a diaper rash
63. What did the grape do when the elephant stepped on it?
It gave out a little wine.
64. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
65. What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom
66. What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A milkshake
67. Which day do fish hate?
Fryday
68. Lion: “You are late. We said we would meet at sunset.”
Giraffe: “I can still see the sun, you midget.”
69. What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A watchdog
70. What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crookodile
71. Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas
72. What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of its mouth!
73. What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost
74. How does a penguin build a LEGO house?
Igoos it together
75. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
76. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
77. Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.
78. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer
79. For sale: Dead Canary.
Not going cheep
80. What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They’re under a buck.
81. What game do baby parrots play?
Beekaboo
82. What do you call a cow that plays an instrument?
A moosician
83. Why did the lion always lose at poker?
It was playing with a coalition of cheetahs.
84. Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they’re dead
85. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work
86. What’s the technical error named after a male ladybird?
Bug
87. What would you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen
88. What does a dolphin say when it’s confused?
“Can you please be more Pacific?”
89. What do rich squirrels eat?
Cashews
90. What is the snake’s favorite subject?
Hiss-story
91. Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot
92. What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow!
93. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
94. Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station
95. What time is it when five dogs chase one cat?
Five after one
96. What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
It split!
97. What do you call a mad elephant?
An earthquake
98. What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A hot dog!
99. What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse
100. What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked
101. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
102. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer
103. How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper
104. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure
105. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed.
106. How does a dog stop a video?
It presses the paws button.
107. Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals
108. What do you call lending money to a bison?
A buff-a-loan
109. What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt penguin
110. Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there’s no one else to wag it for the dog
111. What is a cat’s favorite movie?
The sound of Mew-sic
112. Why did the lamb cross the road?
To get to the baaaaarber shop
113. How does a mouse look like after a shower?
Squeaky clean
114. Where do squirrels go on vacation?
Beach trees
115. What do you call a pig that’s been arrested for bad driving?
A road hog
116. What do you call a wolf that uses bad words?
A swearwolf
117. What happened when the wolf swallowed a clock?
It got ticks.
118. What does a duck with hiccups lay?
Scrambled eggs
119. Why do all ducks fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk
120. What did the duck say to the waiter when the check came?
“Put it on my bill, please.”
121. What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A Squarell
122. What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er
123. What do you get if you cross a duck with a cement mixer?
A brick layer
124. What is green and hangs on trees?
Giraffe boogers
125. What do ducks put in their soup?
Quackers
126. What happens when you cross a wolf with a sheep?
You have to get a new sheep.
127. What was the wolf in the butcher’s shop arrested for?
Chop-lifting
128. Why did the duck cross the construction site?
To see a person lay a brick.
129. Which side of a duck has more feathers?
The outside
130. What does a frog eat with its hamburger?
French Flies
131. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
Because it was a chili dog
132. Why didn’t the ant eat sugar in the kitchen?
It was a diabetic patient.
133. What do you call a sarcastic duck?
A wise quacker
134. What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A box of quackers
135. What is a dog’s favorite city?
New Yorkie
136. What dog keeps the best time?
A watchdog
137. What do you call a wolf that gets lost?
A where-wolf
138. Why did the duck cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
139. Where do tough ducks come from?
Hard-boiled eggs
140. What do you call a great dog detective?
Sherlock Bones
141. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll
142. What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?
Odor in the court
143. Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssside!
144. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools
145. What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A milk dud
146. What fish swims only at night?
A starfish
147. What did the snail say as it rode along on the turtle’s back?
“Wheeee!”
148. What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll
149. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
Because there was a KFC on the other side
150. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show everyone it doesn’t chicken out.
151. Why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny
152. Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they can’t remember the words
153. What animals are on legal documents?
Seals
154. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A pie-thon
155. What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?
“Bison”
156. A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
157. How do bees get to school?
By school buzz
158. What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
Lilly
159. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
160. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
Pouch potato!
161. Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the “barking” lot!
162. How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod?
With your BEAR hands
163. Why did the pig have ink all over its face?
Because it came out of the pen
164. What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound!
165. What do you call it when Alpacas sing?
Alpacapella
166. What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala!
167. Why don’t cats like online shopping?
They prefer a cat-alog.
168. What did the alpaca say to the blade of grass?
Nice knawing you!
169. What did the cat say on the telephone?
“Hi, Can you hear meow?”
170. What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver!
171. How did the little Scottish dog feel when it saw a monster?
Terrier-fied!
172. Why did the dolphin cross the road?
To get to the other tide
173. Where do dolphins sleep?
In a water bed
174. How do electric eels taste?
Shocking
175. How much money does a skunk have?
A scent
176. Hippo 1: “You look like you’re gaining weight.”
Hippo 2: “That’s very hippo-critical of you.”
177. What do you call 100 rabbits walking backward?
A receding hare line
178. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa
179. Which species of snake is found on cars?
Windshield wiper
180. What did the coward dog scream on seeing ghosts?
Courage the Cowardly Dog
Jokes can make a sad person feel happy. Try to remember a few, so you could use them to make your children smile when they are sad. You could also plan a chocolate shake party with kids on the weekend and make them laugh at every single joke on animals.
